Friday, January 13, 2012

being truthful

It has been difficult for me to share Christ with others and be the true follower he wants me to be, because I want to feel safe and comfortable.

I feel challenged to step up now and to stop hiding. To realize that I am meant to be a light. A light should not be hidden, but shown for all to see. If I am shining the light of Christ, I won't be doing so by shutting myself away from it all in safety.
But I so desire to do so. I want to hide from my emotions, to hide from the hurt i feel for the brokenness in this life. All that is sinful bears upon me and I live in those feelings of doubt, fear and shock of the sin in this world. The wars, the injustice, and all the sins I hate to see are too much to think about, and it is overwhelming, and consuming.

So I have decided to embark upon a journey of little steps to try and live a truthful, open, graceful (I am not perfect but christ is) life in front of others who need to know Him.

How do I do this?? I only can take one day at a time and let him hold me by the hand and bring me out of hiding.

Who I am:

- A mother
- A wife
- a painter of color
- a broken dreamer
- a feeler/ emotional
- a food lover :-P
- often a critic
- shy and guarded
- fearful and foolish

Yet, loved by the King.

On that note, here's what's going on with us lately....

We're buying a house! Praise the Lord! :) All of our sweat, tears, prayer, and grace make this possible.
This comes with more sweat tears and prayer that we can get it fixed up soon. It needs quite a bit of work. Pray toby can handle it all and financially also.
Its a cute 3 br 2 ba cabin-like house with a big jetted tub in the master bath which I am excited about.
I am so undeserving of it, yet it is really not applicable of a "blessing" per-say since it is a material. But I know we are blessed to have been added to. (all these things I shall add to you... after deciding to completely follow his kingdom.) 

Our little one was born, she is 11 days old. So little and so so sweet.

Thoughts of the world and its state consume my mind lately. The middle east. Politics. Television and its obscenity. Culture and its lies. I have to remember - TAKE HEART, HE HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD, though we will face MANY TRIALS.