on my heart...

The gladness of our hearts should not come from holidays -
holidays are a pagan attempt to steal our true joy.
They were created to replace Truth.
If you are to study the origin of each holiday,
you would see that most mainstream holidays are Pagan.

On this note, we shouldn't wrap ourselves up in lies.
The lies that this season will bring us any joy at all-
the lie of loneliness - you are not alone if you have christ-
no boyfriend or husband or friend can ever make you feel complete -
a husband does offer a pure and beautiful way to have a companion for life-
but that will not in itself satisfy. You need Christ.
A christmas tree, lights and presents will not fill any void within your soul.
the brightness inside your soul from the holy spirit will.
HE alone will satisfy.

So whatever hope you have today,
whatever you are wishing for-
put it in God's hands.
Don't let your time be wasted on chasing empty promises-
which are lies to steal your heart.
No monetary gift you can give your friends or family is worth it--
only love - which comes from God- can make anyone happy.

This season, do be thankful.
Be thankful for all your needs being met.
Not your wants.
Not having what "everyone else has."

I've believed this lie for too long.
When toby & I first were married, he had never really celebrated holidays,
and i always had.
So, I was upset and felt that by not spending money on decorations, presents, etc.
that I was missing out on a great, fulfilling tradition.

But this year I realize I'm not missing out.
I realize that what matters is heaven,
what matters is how I treat others.
I need help learning how to communicate better and love others better,
but I realize that this is what I am called to do.
The only thing that will satisfy is Christ and his will for me.

Christmas lights may be beautiful,
turkey may fill my stomach,
pretty gifts may be pleasant to look at for a while,
but all of that isn't eternal.
If i die today, all of that isn't what I would be remembered for.
I will be held accountable for every word, every gesture, every single choice I make.
I don't want to spend my time and money on things that are not eternally focused.

I am tired of being selfish.
I am tired of desiring worldly things.
I long for heaven.
I long for God to just hold me in his arms and say "it's okay."

There I go.. with "I" statements.

What an ugly state my soul has become.
Now it is easy to see why Paul wrote in Romans 7:24 :

Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?




Christ set us free from guilt and forgive us. But help us not live as the world. 
Father, forgive me for my many sins. Help me stop this selfish nature. In christ's name, amen.




But i almost overlooked Romans 7:25 - which offers HOPE>


Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.