I wish my camera charger was found then i could show it to you, whoever reads this anyways ;-) I have gone off of blogging for awhile because i'm not sure if it is a great way to spend my time?!
But today i needed to write.
*my mixed thoughts for today*
just breathing, gasping for air beneath layers of waves of water..
often i'll get a glimpse of his beauty but then
be swept away with the tide of this world again
work, life, living. day in day out.. responsibility pain and self
eat, live, work ..
there is more.
HE is more for me, but it's hard to find those moments of solitude and encouragement.
Lord you are still there, it's me who runs away and gets pushed down in despair!
I love him, and hate this ebb and flow of my soul's adventures and failures ...
communication fails.
stuff falls apart.
bodies ache and cry out for rest,
needs get unmet, then met, then unmet again,
it's like tying a knot that keeps unraveling,
pulling it back to me...
tying it again..
relief.
the wind pulls it apart in viciousness again.
Fail.
Pick up again...
go on again...
try again.
But HE is permanent. HE is enough. GOD through Christ can rescue me.
I am but an imperfect weed, small yet bright, waiting for him to notice me, to shine on me again. To pick me up and value me as worthy, though ruined, though unworthy, Though a weed, can HE call me a flower?? Can he gently take me and hold me as his own creation?? I believe he must. I believe he will. The only thing is to wait until he can fill me with breath again.
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